((PKG)) TELLING TRUE DISABILITY STORIES
((TRT: 08:45))
((Topic Banner: Disability Actor))
((Reporter/Camera: Aaron Fedor))
((Producer/Photography: Kathleen McLaughlin))
((Editor: Kyle Dubiel))
((Map: New York City, New York))
((Main characters: 0 female; 1 male))
((Sub characters: 1 female; 0 male))

((NATS/MUSIC))
((NATS: Ryan J. Haddad))
Why are you telling me?
Why are you telling me?
((Courtesy: Falling for Make Believe/The Public Theater))
Why are you telling me my new philosophy?
The teacher gave a D on last week’s homework.
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
My theater career began crawling around the living room when I was two and three years old. I would be watching Disney movie cartoons, princess movies, and just want to act them out. I couldn't walk at the time. My primary mode of transportation was crawling around,
((Courtesy: Ryan J. Haddad))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
either on my hands and knees, or later I learned to just crawl on
my knees and sort of hobble around that way. And maybe sometimes I would pretend I was Prince Charming, but often I was pretending that I was a princess. Disney movies were my way in.
((Courtesy: Ryder Haske, Director of Photography/Lookout Productions/Woolly Mammoth Theatre))
((NATS: Ryan J. Haddad))
Grindr is a hookup app that tells you how close you are to the nearest gay, bi, or "straight" man.
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
I went to a liberal arts school called Ohio Wesleyan in Delaware, Ohio, at a school where I had a theater scholarship and was encouraged to be a theater major. The professors were having difficulty finding ways for me to fit in into the plays that were offered.
((Courtesy: Ryder Haske, Director of Photography/Lookout Productions/Woolly Mammoth Theatre))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
And I didn't know if it was because I wasn't good enough, or because I walked with a walker and they weren't quite sure what to do with somebody who walked with a walker. So then I met Tim Miller,
((Courtesy: Leo Garcia))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
a gay and loudly political and outspoken performance artist.
((Courtesy: Alistair McCartney))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
Tim Miller comes to universities still to this day and does these workshops, teaching people how to make autobiographical performance.
((Courtesy: Ryan J. Haddad))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
And Tim said, "This is what you're supposed to be doing. You are supposed to be telling your own stories.
((Courtesy: Ryder Haske, Director of Photography/Lookout Productions/Woolly Mammoth Theatre))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
You are supposed to be playing Ryan and not pretending that his name is Tony or Paul or whatever fictional name you make up.
((Courtesy: Falling for Make Believe/The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
You're not supposed to hand it to another actor. You're supposed to play yourself.
((Courtesy: Ryder Haske, Director of Photography/Lookout Productions/Woolly Mammoth Theatre))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
You can do it. You can make a career of it. Your voice matters. Your gay, disabled voice matters.” And I made a senior project that was called, “Hi, Are You Single?”
((Courtesy: Ryder Haske, Director of Photography/Lookout Productions/Woolly Mammoth Theatre))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
Hi, Are You Single? Hi, Are You Single? Hi, Are You Single?
Hi, Are You Single? Hi, Are You Single? Hi, Are You Single?
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
And that is…continues to be the play that I am most known for, that I've performed around the country, and been critically acclaimed and nominated for awards.
((NATS: Ryan J. Haddad; Alejandra Ospina))
((Courtesy: Jonathan Rodriguez/The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
I dashed to the bathroom door.
((Voice of Alejandra Ospina
Actor))
They charged toward each other.
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
I parked the walker.
((Voice of Alejandra Ospina
Actor))
They face out.
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
I grabbed the door handle and it's locked. Someone else is using the restroom.
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
“Dark Disabled Stories” is a series of unforgiving,
((Courtesy: Jonathan Rodriguez/The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
sometimes raunchy, sometimes scandalous and a little scary vignettes about my life, navigating New York City with a walker, and being faced with not only
((Courtesy: The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
physical infrastructure that isn't built with me in mind, but also strangers and their perceptions
((Courtesy: The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
of me, based on what they believe disability to mean in the world. I think a major prevailing disability narrative in society is inspiration and empowerment. There has to be some happy ending or triumph
((Courtesy: The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
within the life of a disabled person to make their life seemingly worth living, and/or worth having a story that is told, so that others can feel good about them. We call it inspiration porn, and I'm really trying to play against that entirely.
((Courtesy: Jonathan Rodriguez/The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
There's nothing inspiring about this show. There's nothing, there’s nothing that's meant to just tug at your heartstrings. It's just real, raw, honest truth.
((Courtesy: Jonathan Rodriguez/The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
So in our show, the access is built into the performance. It isn't put on top of the performance. It was part of the process from the beginnings of rehearsals and the beginnings of design. And it is manifested in two major ways via performers giving their own full, brilliant, rich performances.
((Courtesy: Jonathan Rodriguez/The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
That is Alejandra Ospina, who is our audio describer, and who describes all stage actions and stage pictures and movement and projections. All the images that are being seen, she is describing for blind and low-vision audience members.
And then she joins us on stage to give her own monologue and tell a story from her own point of view,
((Courtesy: Jonathan Rodriguez/The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
talking about what it is to be a woman in New York City in a motorized wheelchair.
((NATS: Ryan J. Haddad; Alejandra Ospina))
((Courtesy: Jonathan Rodriguez/The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
…Accessible To You.
((Voice of Alejandra Ospina
Actor))
The word "YOU" is projected in large letters.
((Courtesy: Jonathan Rodriguez/The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
Dickie Hearts is playing Ryan alongside Ryan, and giving his performance entirely in American sign language. He is a deaf actor.
((Courtesy: Jonathan Rodriguez/The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
It is thrilling to have the same monologue be expressed by two humans of two completely different experiences.
((NATS))
((Courtesy: Jonathan Rodriguez/The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
I realize that it's not so scary, so dark, and make it more accessible for them.
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
Whenever there's a conversation about diverse storytelling, disability needs to be included in that conversation. And we must be at the point where disabled characters are no longer played by non-disabled actors, whether they are a box office draw or not.
((Courtesy: The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
If you want to be telling a disabled story, you damn well better be using a disabled performer to do it.
((Courtesy: Ryan J. Haddad))
It's not just about representation. It's about opportunity. It's about
career advancement. It's about financial security and stability. And the bigger hurdle, that's such an important hurdle, is only giving disabled actors the opportunity to audition, the opportunity to participate when the role is written to be disabled.
((Courtesy: Falling for Make Believe/The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
Because I can play almost anybody. I can play a neighbor, a teacher, a father, an uncle, a date that goes well or goes bad. None of those things have to have disability written into the script. And yet, often, the majority of disabled performers, working, and trying to be working, trying to make a living in this business,
((Courtesy: Ryder Haske, Director of Photography/Lookout Productions/Woolly Mammoth Theatre))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
are only invited to the table, or even invited to the door where the table is inside, if the role says specifically, "We're seeking disabled talent for this explicitly disabled role."
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
The world of show business didn't want me to be a star. And so, I've created vehicles, as a professional writer, performer, to allow myself, for 60 minutes or 75 minutes at a time, to tell my story. I do want to be someone who can command a stage, and who can tell stories of the disability experience of great depth, and nuance, and complexity, and sexiness, and darkness,
((Courtesy: Jonathan Rodriguez/The Public Theater))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
without having to apologize to anyone, without having to concede the spotlight to someone who is not disabled. I know my worth as a performer and storyteller,
((Courtesy: Ryan J. Haddad))
((Ryan J. Haddad
Playwright, Actor))
and I'm not going to say I wasn't willing to give up, because that just sounds like I'm, I’m catering to an inspiring inspiration-porn narrative of empowered disability. And I'm very fortunate. And I've worked very, very hard to get here. And I'm not taking it for granted. But I'm also not surprised, because I knew this was where I was meant to be, and I wasn't going to allow anyone to tell me otherwise.
((NATS: Audience applause))
((Courtesy: Ryder Haske, Director of Photography/Lookout Productions/Woolly Mammoth Theatre))