Accessibility links

Breaking News

Student Union

Indonesian Promotes Marriage Without Dating

© AP
© AP
Romance be damned.

Indonesia Without Courtship -- Indonesia Tanpa Pacaran -- a movement started by writer La Ode Munafar, 26, encourages young Indonesians to skip dating and go straight to marriage.

The group has gained more than 200,000 Facebook likes and over 300,000 Instagram followers. Its posts often draw from Islamic culture, mixing in content about hijab with anti-dating graphics.

"I was concerned about the younger generation, who are victims of the doomed culture of courtship," Munafar said when asked why he started the movement.

Indonesian couples wait for their turn to wed during a mass wedding ceremony in Jakarta, Indonesia, Wednesday, May 18, 2005. The mass marriage of the 47 couples was held by the State Secretariate to help the poor who were unable to afford proper wedding. (AP Photo/Dita Alangkara)
Indonesian couples wait for their turn to wed during a mass wedding ceremony in Jakarta, Indonesia, Wednesday, May 18, 2005. The mass marriage of the 47 couples was held by the State Secretariate to help the poor who were unable to afford proper wedding. (AP Photo/Dita Alangkara)


While the anti-dating movement has grown here, there have been several high-profile, unusual marriages in local news: one between two middle school students and another between a 16-year-old boy and 71-year-old woman, both in Sumatra.

Though these stories are somewhat sensationalist, child marriage is a big problem in Indonesia. Between 14 percent and 35 percent of Indonesian girls marry before age 18, depending on the province, according to UNICEF. Some child welfare advocates worry that the movement to skip dating in favor of marriage will aggravate this issue.

Burgeoning movement

Munafar says he believes dating is largely deleterious to young people's lives.

He is 26, married, from Southest Sulawesi and lives in Yogyakarta. According to his website, he has written 60 books and runs a "quick-write" course that promises to generate a book manuscript with eight hours of training.

Indonesia Tanpa Pacaran conducts both online and offline activities, he told VOA. Online, it offers consultations to concerned individuals or facilitates discussion on WhatsApp groups, broadcasts relationship advice on Tuesdays and Fridays by "love writers," and mounts social media campaigns like #TolakValentineDay (Reject Valentine's Day). Offline, it distributes books, holds "love seminars" and organizes meetups. Members gain access to official WhatsApp channels if they pay a fee of 170,000 rupiah (about $13).

"Dating only wastes time, energy and money for a moment's pleasure," said Munafar. "It's not for serious relationships or building a house." Munafar claims the movement gains over 1,000 followers on social media every day.

As an alternative to dating, the group suggests ta'aruf, the Islamic cultural practice of getting to know prospective spouses, usually through family introductions.


A religious officer canes an Acehnese youth onstage as punishment for dating outside marriage, which is against Sharia, or Islamic law, outside a mosque in Banda Aceh, Aug. 1, 2016. The strictly Muslim province, Aceh has become increasingly conservative in recent years and is the only one in Indonesia implementing Sharia.
A religious officer canes an Acehnese youth onstage as punishment for dating outside marriage, which is against Sharia, or Islamic law, outside a mosque in Banda Aceh, Aug. 1, 2016. The strictly Muslim province, Aceh has become increasingly conservative in recent years and is the only one in Indonesia implementing Sharia.

A religious officer canes an Acehnese youth onstage as punishment for dating outside marriage, which is against Sharia, or Islamic law, outside a mosque in Banda Aceh, Aug. 1, 2016. The strictly Muslim province, Aceh has become increasingly conservative in recent years and is the only one in Indonesia implementing Sharia.



Widespread trend

Indonesia Tanpa Pacaran isn't the only sign of anti-dating sentiment. Other Instagram accounts like @nikahasik (cool marriage) glorify Islamic marriage to 650,000 followers. And there are Twitter accounts like @muliatanpapacaran (nobility without dating) that do the same.

Purwakarta in West Java banned dating in 2015, installing security cameras at public intersections to monitor social interactions.

And last year, conservative politicians proposed banning all extramarital sex. The nation's highest court has not yet moved forward with discussion on the measure.

Indonesia Tanpa Pacaran has tried to lobby Indonesia's ulama (religious scholar) council to issue a fatwa against dating, but its members have resisted so far, saying that fatwas ordinarily arise in response to specific incidents.

Child marriage concerns

Indonesia ranks among the 10 countries with the most child brides. By law, girls can marry at age 16, while boys can only marry at 19 with parental permission. But younger girls or couples can often get away on the nikah siri loophole, which refers to marriage performed under Islamic law.

"Overall, the legal loopholes in Indonesia legitimize various forms of child marriage," said Emilie Minnick, a child protection specialist at UNICEF Indonesia. "Once married through nikah siri, it is extremely easy to then go through formalization of the marriage through the process of isbat, meaning that there is little incentive to go through legal marriage channels. Furthermore, the issue of child marriage in Indonesia is compounded by the fact that many authorities are proceeding on the basis of forged identity documents, which give a false age."

Child marriage has many negative effects on girls, Minnick said. "Girls who marry before 18 are six times less likely to complete secondary education than girls who marry after 18, poverty makes Indonesian girls four times as likely to be married before age 18 … and globally, complications during pregnancy and childbirth are the second leading cause of death for girls ages 15 to 19," she said, citing figures from Indonesia's Central Bureau of Statistics.

Cultural pressure to skip dating is certainly not the only factor in child marriage. Poverty, cultural norms and lack of social services also play a role. But the movement seems to be symptomatic of the cultural environment that produces the practice.

This story was reported by Krithika Varagur for VOANews.com.

See all News Updates of the Day

International students may be able to get jobs at school 

FILE - Northeastern University graduate student Shabbir Hussain, of Indore, India, left, views a computer screen at the entrance to the Snell Library on the Northeastern University campus in Boston on May 24, 2016.
FILE - Northeastern University graduate student Shabbir Hussain, of Indore, India, left, views a computer screen at the entrance to the Snell Library on the Northeastern University campus in Boston on May 24, 2016.

International students studying in the United States may be able to work on campus.

Jobs can include working in libraries, labs, food service and dormitories – but students will have to research the rules before applying for jobs, according to U.S. News & World Report. (September 2024)

Report says college rankings have the potential to mislead

FILE - Students walk at Main Quadrangle on the University of Chicago campus, Monday, May 6, 2024, in Chicago.
FILE - Students walk at Main Quadrangle on the University of Chicago campus, Monday, May 6, 2024, in Chicago.

Each year, prominent lists of college and university rankings are compiled and released to the public, but a report conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago says those rankings have the potential to mislead.

Writing in Forbes, Vanderbilt University Chancellor Daniel Diermeier says changing methodologies can distort results, and profit motives can create doubt. He argues that rankings should be replaced by an objective rating system. (September 2024)

College athletes push for voter turnout while largely avoiding controversy as election nears

FILE - A 5.8-meter Airstream Caravel on loan to the League of Women Voters of Ohio visits the main campus of the Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio, Sept. 26, 2024, as the group works to register and engage student voters.
FILE - A 5.8-meter Airstream Caravel on loan to the League of Women Voters of Ohio visits the main campus of the Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio, Sept. 26, 2024, as the group works to register and engage student voters.

Lily Meskers faced an unexpected choice in the lead-up to the first major election she can vote in.

The 19-year-old University of Montana sprinter was among college athletes in the state who received an inquiry from Montana Together asking if she was interested in a name, image and likeness deal to support Sen. Jon Tester, a three-term Democrat seeking re-election. The group, which is not affiliated with the Tester campaign, offered from $400 to $2,400 to athletes willing to produce video endorsements.

Meskers, who is from Colorado but registered to vote in Montana, decided against the deal because she disagrees with Tester's votes on legislation involving transgender athletes in sports.

"I was like, OK, I believe that this is a political move to try to gain back some voters that he might have lost," Meskers said. "And me being a female student-athlete myself, I was not going to give my endorsement to someone who I felt didn't have the same support for me."

Professional athletes such as LeBron James, Colin Kaepernick and Stephen Curry have taken high-profile stances on hot-button topics and political campaigns in recent years, but college athletes are far less outspoken — even if money is available, according to experts in the NIL field. Being outwardly political can reflect on their school or endanger potential endorsement deals from brands that don't want controversy. It can certainly establish a public image for an athlete — for better or for worse — or lead to tensions with teammates and coaches who might not feel the same way.

There are examples of political activism by college athletes: A Texas Tech kicker revealed his support for former President Donald Trump on a shirt under his uniform at a game last week and a handful of Nebraska athletes a few days ago teamed up in a campaign ad against an abortion measure on the Tuesday's ballot.

Still, such steps are considered rare.

"It can be viewed as risky and there may be people telling them just don't even take that chance because they haven't made it yet," said Lauren Walsh, who started a sports branding agency 15 years ago. She said there is often too much to lose for themselves, their handlers and in some cases, their families.

"And these individuals still have to figure out what they're going to do with the rest of their lives, even those that do end up getting drafted," she added.

College coaches are not always as reticent. Auburn men's basketball coach Bruce Pearl has used social media to make it clear he does not support Kamala Harris, Trump's Democratic opponent in next week's presidential election. Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy once caused a stir with a star player for wearing a shirt promoting a far-right news outlet.

Blake Lawrence, co-founder of the NIL platform Opendorse, noted that this is the first presidential election in the NIL era, which began in July 2021. He said athletes are flocking to opportunities to help increase voter turnout in the 18-to-24 age demographic, adding that one of his company's partners has had 86 athletes post social media messages encouraging turnout through the first half of the week.

He said athletes are shying away from endorsing specific candidates or causes that are considered partisan.

"Student-athletes are, for the most part, still developing their confidence in endorsing any type of product or service," he said. "So if they are hesitant to put their weight behind supporting a local restaurant or an e-commerce product, then they are certainly going to be hesitant to use their social channels in a political way."

Giving athletes a voice

Many college athletes have opted to focus on drumming up turnout in a non-partisan manner or simply using their platforms to take stands that are not directly political in nature. Some of those efforts can be found in battleground states.

FILE - Phoenix Mercury guard Natasha Cloud (0) celebrates after making a shot while fouled during the first half of a WNBA basketball game against the Minnesota Lynx, May 31, 2024, in Minneapolis.
FILE - Phoenix Mercury guard Natasha Cloud (0) celebrates after making a shot while fouled during the first half of a WNBA basketball game against the Minnesota Lynx, May 31, 2024, in Minneapolis.

A progressive group called NextGen America said it had signed players in Arizona, Michigan, Nevada, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania and Virginia to encourage voting among young people. Another organization, The Team, said it prepped 27 college athletes in Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Arizona and Michigan to lead volunteer voter participation opportunities for students. The organization also said it got more than 625 coaches to sign a nonpartisan pledge to get their athletes registered to vote.

The Team's executive director is Joe Kennedy, a former coach who coordinated championship visits and other sporting events at the White House during President Barack Obama's administration. In early October, it hosted a Zoom event during which panelists such as NCAA President Charlie Baker and WNBA players Nneka Ogwumike and Natasha Cloud gave college athletes advice about using their platforms on campus.

In its early days, The Team seized upon momentum from the record turnout seen in the 2020 election. The NCAA that year said Division I athletes could have Election Day off from practice and play to vote. Lisa Kay Solomon, founder of the All Vote No Play campaign, said even if the athletes don't immediately take stands on controversial issues, it's important for them to learn how.

"It is a lot to ask our young people to feel capable and confident on skills they've never had a chance to practice," Solomon said. "We have to model what it means to practice taking risks, practice standing up for yourself, practice pausing to think about what are the values that you care about — not what social media is feeding into your brain, but what do you care about and how do you express that? And how do you do it in a way that honors the kind of future that you want to be a part of?"

Shut up and play?

Two years ago, Tennessee-Martin quarterback Dresser Winn said he would support a candidate in a local district attorney general race in what experts said was very likely the first political NIL deal by a college athlete.

There have been very few since.

The public criticism and fallout for athletes who speak out on politics or social issue can be sharp. Kaepernick, the Super Bowl-winning quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers, hasn't played in an NFL game since January 2017, not long after he began kneeling during the national anthem at games.

Meskers, the Montana sprinter, said political endorsements through NIL deals could create problems for athletes and their schools.

"I just think that NIL is going to run into a lot of trouble and a lot of struggles if they continue to let athletes do political endorsements," she said. "I just think it's messy. But I stand by NIL as a whole. I think it's really hard as a student athlete to create a financial income and support yourself."

Walsh said it's easier for wealthy and veteran stars like James and Ogwumike to take stands. James, the Los Angeles Lakers star, started More Than a Vote — an organization with a mission to "educate, energize and protect Black voters" — in 2020. He has passed the leadership to Ogwumike, who just finished her 13th year in the WNBA and also is the president of the Women's National Basketball Players Association. More than a Vote is focused on women's rights and reproductive freedom this year.

"They have very established brands," Walsh said. "They know who they are and they know what their political stance is. They know that they have a really strong following that -- there's always going to be haters, but they're also always going to have that strong following of people who listen to everything that they have to say."

Andra Gillespie, an associate professor at Emory University who teaches African American politics, also said it is rare that a college athlete would make a significant impact with a political stand simply because they tend to have a more regional platform than national. Even celebrities like Taylor Swift and Eminem are better at increasing turnout than championing candidates.

"They are certainly very beneficial in helping to drive up turnout among their fans," Gillespie said. "The data is less conclusive about whether or not they're persuasive – are they the ones who are going to persuade you to vote for a particular candidate?"

Athletes as influencers

Still, campaigns know young voters are critical this election cycle, and athletes offer an effective and familiar voice to reach them.

Political and social topics are not often broached, but this week six Nebraska athletes — five softball players and a volleyball player — appeared in an ad paid for by the group Protect Women and Children involving two initiatives about abortion laws on Tuesday's ballot.

The female athletes backed Initiative 434, which would amend the state constitution to prohibit abortions after the first trimester, with exceptions. Star softball player Jordy Bahl said on social media that the athletes were not paid.

A University of Montana spokesperson said two athletes initially agreed to take part in the NIL deal backing Tester. The school said one withdrew and the other declined to be interviewed.

For Meskers, deciding against the offer boiled down to Tester twice voting against proposals to bar federal funds from going to schools that allow transgender athletes to play women's sports, a prominent GOP campaign topic. Tester's campaign said the proposals were amendments to government spending packages, and he didn't want to play a role in derailing them as government shutdowns loomed.

"As a former public school teacher and school board member, Jon Tester believes these decisions should be made at the local level," a Tester spokesperson said. "He has never voted to allow men to compete against women."

Meskers said she believes using influence as college athletes is good and she is in favor of NIL. She just doesn't think the two should mix specifically for supporting candidates.

"I think especially as student athletes, we do have such a big voice and we do have a platform to use," she said. "So I think if you're encouraging people to do their civic duties and get up and go (vote), I think that's a great thing."

Bloomberg Philanthropies says investment in low-income students fell short 

FILE - Michael Bloomberg announces his organization, Bloomberg Philanthropies, will give $600 million to the endowments of the four historically Black medical schools at the National Medical Association convention, Aug. 6, 2024, in New York
FILE - Michael Bloomberg announces his organization, Bloomberg Philanthropies, will give $600 million to the endowments of the four historically Black medical schools at the National Medical Association convention, Aug. 6, 2024, in New York

More than $140 million from billionaire Michael Bloomberg’s charitable programs have been spent getting talented low-income students into top colleges, but an analysis of those programs found they fell short of goals.

The Wall Street Journal took a look at the programs, their objectives, and how they haven’t led to the results Bloomberg Philanthropies wanted to see. (September 2024)

Music students find community through 'international chat' program

FILE - A bicyclist watches for traffic before riding in Fredonia, NY, on Dec. 11, 2009.
FILE - A bicyclist watches for traffic before riding in Fredonia, NY, on Dec. 11, 2009.

State University of New York at Fredonia is trying a new method to help international music students feel at home.

A professor at the school hosts informal chats -- known as "international chat" -- several times a semester. The goal, the school says in an article, is to function "as a study group session for international students facing challenges that are unique to international students."

Read the full story here. (October 2024)

Load more

XS
SM
MD
LG