((PKG)) MIAMI: PART 3
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Living America’s Opioid Nightmare
((ANIMATION W/ GFX, CAPTIONS, PHOTOS))
More than 40,000 Americans die each year from opioid overdoses.
VOA looks at three stories from the epidemic.
((PKG)) MIAMI: PART 3
((Banner: Allison: Part 3))
((Producers: Jeff Swicord, Chris Simkins, Jacquelyn De Phillips))
((Camera: Jeff Swicord, Chris Simkins, Mike Burke))
((Map: Miami, Florida))
((Banner: Recovering from opioid addiction, Allison Norland has regained custody of her daughter.))
((NATS))
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
In the last month, things have really taken off for John and I. We got Sawyer back which is the most important of all.
((NATS))
Sawyer: There’s a dragon!
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
We have a house. We're buying another car. We got a dog who is my service animal.
((NATS))
John: You are going to do it.
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
John and I've been working towards having our family together for over a year and a half and it's, it's surreal.
((NATS))
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
I have bad days. I have problems. But my favorite part of the day is waking up and having my husband next to me and knowing my child is asleep in her room and is going to come in as soon as she wakes up, and crawl in bed and snuggle with me.
((NATS))
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
I don't have to figure out how I'm going to get money to go run and buy a pill to get high. It's, it's amazing. It's a great thing. It's a great feeling. So, that's where I'm at.
((NATS))
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
Achilles is a service dog. He is an emotional support animal. I suffer from PTSD (Post- traumatic stress disorder) from my first daughter Payton's accident when she was killed. So, he helps if I am slipping into kind of an episode.
((NATS))
When I sleep, I have really bad flashbacks. The accident will play on repeat and Achilles will sense that and when I start waking up, he'll curl up into me or he'll lick my face and wake me up and I'll kind of reset. So, it's fantastic. He's amazing.
((NATS))
Sawyer: Drop it. Daddy!
John: He’s tougher than you are.
Sawyer: Mommy.
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
To have Sawyer back, it's like starting at square one. John and I have regained full custody of her. I have a lot of catching up to do. We've changed our schedules and I've stepped back in my career so I can be home with her.
((NATS))
Allison: Scrub them together.
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
The fear of parenting is overwhelming at times. I'm scared to be judged for doing the wrong thing.
((NATS))
Allison: Watch what you’re doing. One step at a time.
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
I'm scared to have her taken away again. I don't know that I would be able to handle that. So that thought alone is terrifying.
((NATS))
((Jen Ellison, Peer Counselor)): This is a great house.
Allison: It is. I would…
Jen: You have a big overhang too.
Allison: Yeah. On both sides. Same on both sides.
Jen: Yeah, I mean that’s so great. Like you have, you can put three cars back here.
Jen: So, how are you adjusting to all of your changes?
Allison: You know it's been taxing. It's, It’s a lot all at once. So, I don't know if I'm necessarily handling all of it well.
Jen: Why wouldn't you be handling it all well?
Allison: It's everything all at once.
Jen: Is it harder than you remember with Sawyer?
Allison: Yeah. She's, it's like having a newborn that's walking and talking. So...
Jen: She's great though.
Allison: She is.
Allison: Again, it's I think dealing with all the issues with my mom. That's, I just feel like it's, it's, she's going to sabotage it. I don't want to say it like that but I don't know what else to say, like to exaggerate things to take things out of context. I'm so scared to ask them to pick her up from school if I'm running late, that they'll use it and be like, well see, they can't do it.
Jen: Do you remember what the judge said in the courtroom because I feel like I was sitting right next to you? And she said, “if it weren't for my mother's help, I wouldn't be sitting on the bench today.”
Allison: Right.
Jen: Because my mom chauffeured my kids everywhere.
Allison: Right. I do remember that.
Jen: I kind of feel like…
Allison: But that's a different. My mom's, I mean, I know that it's hard for her to let go. I wasn't prepared for some of the stuff she said in court about, you know, certain aspects of my recovery. I wasn't, I haven't been prepared this entire time. I mean…
Jen: I mean how prepared can one be?
Allison: Right.
Jen: Ever.
((Dr. Patricia Ares-Romero, Chief Medical Officer, Jackson Behavioral Health Hospital))
((NATS))
Allison: Hi, how are you?
Dr. Patricia: Good. How are you doing?
Allison: Great.
Dr. Patricia: You ready? Let’s go.
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
I like Dr. Ares-Romero. She’s got this understanding about her and is, it was very easy to open up to her. It was very easy to let her into my life and tell her about my past which I don't tell a lot of people about.
((NATS))
Allison: So, when I was walking in, I ran into a girl that I went to detox with.
Dr. Patricia: Ok.
Allison: She's back using, so that was kind of a reality check, to see somebody who's where I started and where I am now. It's one of those kind of surreal moments.
Dr. Patricia: Did you guys start together?
Allison: Yeah.
Dr. Patricia: How did it make you feel when you saw her?
Allison: Grateful actually. I mean I know that's sad. I feel sad for her but for me it's, it's a reality check. That's where I could be. That's where I could always go back to.
Dr. Patricia: Day by day. But it does make you feel like I've been able to accomplish so much. Right?
Allison: Yeah. It's not the first time I've run into somebody like that. But it's the first time I've actually had a conversation and seen the emotion behind it and actually remember how I felt when I was using.
Dr. Patricia: Did it bring up any cravings? Any feelings of cravings when you saw her?
Allison: Absolute opposite. I…
Dr. Patricia: Yeah. You know she can always come in for help?
Allison: That's why I told her. I said you know there's a clinic inside. And she's like, “yeah, but you know with Suboxone…”. I was like I've heard you know a lot of excuses when it comes to Suboxone.
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
Suboxone is, it's an opiate blocker. It eases the discomfort when you're choosing to come off of opiates and opioids. There is not that thought of getting high because Suboxone takes that away.
((NATS))
Dr. Patricia: There's a lot of misconceptions about Suboxone. It's prejudice also.
Allison: Right. I think the further I've gotten into recovery and the longer I've been on it, I've plateaued in my recovery, just because I'm kind of using it as a crutch at this point.
Dr. Patricia: Why do you feel it's like a crutch?
Allison: Because there aren't any cravings with Suboxone. I can't chemically get high. I know that. So, there's not that ‘what if’ scenario because there is that ‘I know I'm gonna get sick’. While I'm in this process, and I have the people around me with the courts and the drug testing and all that, that for me, to continue to come off and taper down gradually, I think…
Dr. Patricia: And that's the goal.
Allison: Right.
((NATS))
((Barbara Norland, Allison’s Mother))
I got a call from Allison and I knew that they had gone to court. She said, “Hey, Judge Cohen would like to speak with you.” She said, “You know Barbara, we need to close this case. It's been just too long. We need to go for reunification. I think they're ready.” And I was just really shocked. Sawyer had been spending three nights max with them and now she's going to spend how much time with them.
((NATS))
Barbara: It’s not, it’s not about us. It’s not about them. It is about Sawyer.
((Barbara Norland, Allison’s Mother))
I have said and she actually admitted it and it pushed her to say it that day that the court was not about family court. It was about them complying with everything in drug court and they were clean for 400 and some days. And so, therefore, the reward was that they got to have Sawyer back.
((NATS))
((Barbara Norland, Allison’s Mother))
They had just gotten this dog that I didn't feel was the right decision, not to not get a dog, but to get a dog that is a breed that's not legal in Miami. There were just so many things that were still red flags to me.
((NATS))
Sawyer: How about we do a leaf?
John: A leaf? Which one, that one? You want to do the leaf next? Ok, ok, ok my love. That’s what we’ll do. Your wish is my command.
((John Lowe, Allison’s Husband))
I think we've both showed that this isn't just something that we're doing for today. This isn’t something that we're just doing to get our daughter back. This is a life change that we've made with due diligence, hard work, consistency. We have consistently gone into the courtroom and had thing after thing after thing put in front of us. And instead of reacting, we've taken a step back, we've looked at it, and we've addressed the issue and we've moved forward.
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
Right.
((John Lowe, Allison’s Husband))
I just think in due time they'll see. They will see that we're serious about this. That Allison is a good mother. That she's a great mother. That I'm going to be a good father. That we are going to be great providers for our daughter.
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
So, you know, it's, it's definitely been difficult for us, to swallow the pride and, you know, eat that humble pie. But we messed up. We're here because of our mistakes. Sawyer didn't do anything. My mom didn't do anything. It's, it's us having to, you know, make amends and just keep trucking forward and implementing the things we've learned through this process.
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
I'm going to be blunt. I don't know how to fix things between my mom and I. I've genuinely tried. I look at things from her perspective. I can't imagine what she's going through. You know my dad was an addict from the time I can remember until the day he died my dad was drinking. So, and then you know three years later, here I am picking up some, an addiction and she has to then deal with that.
((NATS))
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
She's been nurturing this child almost, I mean, she was in the delivery room with me. She cut the umbilical cord. She's as much a part of her life as I am, as John is. And I understand she's trying to protect Sawyer, but it's at the cost of our relationship. And that to me is, it's difficult.
((Allison Norland, Recovering Addict))
I think right now it's just that wound is too fresh.
((NATS))
((Banner))
Living America’s Opioid Nightmare
continues on VOA Connect in the weeks to come
